A Realization

I’m pretty established in this whole pregnancy thing, and I’ve come to realize something the past few days: there is moire than one type of sanctimommy! I’ve start calling anyone with militant parenting/birthing/Breastfeeding ideas as a sanctimommy, especially if they feel the need to look down on any other parent or mum to be for how they choose to do things.

The moms who breastfeed in public and do so in a way that will garner them attention, when all they claim to want is for their actions to be seen as normal? Yup. The mom who openly bashes someone’s choice to not breastfeed exclusively, or for five years? You bet. But what about the people who are anti-natural birth? Yes, even they qualify as sanctimommies.

I know some people who are so against home. Iran and the use of midwives that it will put them into a cussing rage talking about it. The thing is, most of those people only focus on the horrible things that go wrong. The truth is, tragedy can happen everywhere, even in a hospital where medical interventions are easily available. Seem of those stories involve unlicensed midwives, or those with improper training. A lot of places outside Canada don’t have strict laws for allowing midwives to practise. Does that mean a hospital birth is right for everyone? No.

It’s not something I would ever consider doing, probably because I have too much knowledge of things that can happen and I want to be as close to the hospital as possible. However, I also loan to have a natural birth, in that hospital. I don’t want a single medical intervention aside from a fetal monitor and IV, unless it’s an absolute emergency. So, with this option in mind, a natural hospital birth, why do all the home birth horror stories get to represent natural birth?

Why can’t we, as women going through similar things, be supportive? Where the hell did sanctimommies, of both varieties, come from? And for goodness sakes, why did parenting have to become a competition? None of the things is helpful for anyone, especially in the age of the internet, where conflicting information is so easily accessible. You can find anything on the internet to support whatever you wish to believe. Vaccinating is a prime example, but not one I care to go in to as it makes me rather irate.

No matter what you’re being a sanctimommy about, stop. Let those around you make their own choices, whether it’s disposables or cloth, breast or bottle, home or hospital. It’s not a race, it’s not a competition. It’s life, and we all need to feel that we are doing the best we can.

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2 thoughts on “A Realization

  1. I agree that when people think of natural birth, they automatically focus on home births, when that is just not always the case. In fact, that is why I wrote a book called “Natural Hospital Birth.” Everyone has the right to make their own choices, and women who choose to have a natural birth should be able to do so in any environment of their choosing. It’s great to know you are doing what fits YOU and YOUR needs, rather than anyone else’s.

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    • Thank you, again! I’m so lucky to be delivering at a hospital that piloted a program to allow midwives to practise in hospitals, and has been copied across Canada. I’m not personally using a midwife, but in support those that choose to do so.

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