I haven’t posted in a while. I do feel bad about this, but to be honest, there have been other things going on that have taken priority over the blog. I think I’ve also realized that committing myself to doing two posts a day was a little much. So, I’m going to post as often as I can, and I the features will be up when I have something truly awesome to post about. That just makes more sense for me, and for the blog, right now.
So, what’s been gong on? For starters, Shawn and I have a brand new niece! Shawn’s sister had her baby on September 17 at 245am, and she was 8 pounds 4 ounces. She definitely looks like her dad, and she’s so cute. They live in Langley, BC, and we’re not sure when we’re going to be able to get out to see them (Shawn is out of vacation for the year, and my doctors don’t really want me travelling until after the Little Man is born), but we’re excited none the less. From what she’s said, the birth went smoothly, her midwife did a great job, and she couldn’t be happier with the outcome. We’re both so pleased for them. I sent her gist off in the mail today with a gorgeous card (and their thank you note for the wedding), and I really hope she likes it. The outfits are adorable, so I don’t see how she couldn’t. One is a pair of jeggings with a cream top and brown tweed vest, and the other is a yellow Peter Rabbit set with a short-sleeved top and striped pants. Precious!
Speaking of thank you notes, we finally got ours ordered. Wedding Paper Divas did a great job, as always. We picked a postcard style that allowed us to include six wedding pictures on the front. They’re simple and pretty, and everyone who has seen them so far has really liked them. That hasn’t been a huge number of people, however. I’m finding it really difficult to sit down and actually get the notes written and addressed. At this point, I’m almost wishing we would have just gotten a generic thank you message printed on the back so I didn’t have to think of a million ways to say thank you to all of our guests. I don’t think I could live with myself if I did that. That’s just not the type of hostess I am. It’s bad enough that they’re just getting done and sent out now when our wedding was at the end of May.
One of my friends did point out that it’s not like we haven’t had anything going on in our lives that may have prevented us (or me, who are we kidding) from getting them out sooner. I certainly was in no shape to be thinking of thoughtful notes for all the people who helped us celebrate in my first trimester, let alone sitting up long enough to get them all written out. My friend, quite kindly, pointed out that if people don’t give me a little slack, they don’t deserve a note at all. That made me feel a little better.
I had a lovely lunch with good friend, former boss and Maid of Awesome Eve on Friday. It’s so nice to be able to just sit and gab with someone that you don’t spend time with every day (anymore). Considering that we live a five minute drive from each other, we really don’t do it as often as we should. I think she likes having someone to talk to about work who is both impartial and knows exactly what she’s talking about. I know how much you need to vent in that job, and it’s nice to have more than one person who gets it. It’s also nice to have another set of ears to talk to about pregnancy stuff, family junk and all the annoyances that come along with that stuff. Having excellent Japanese food while doing it is a nice bonus. We’re luck enough to have a great, delicious and inexpensive Japanese bistro in our area (and within walking distance from my house) that we both love, so it makes lunch dates super easy.
I also managed to snag a lunch date with my mum last Wednesday. It happened to be food truck day at the hospital, and I was already there for my appointment at the Obstetric Medicine clinic. She wanted to know how my appointment went, I was hungry… it all worked out. The appointment was really good. I spoke to a nurse practitioner, dietician and a doctor about any of the concerns I have going forward with my hemiplegic migraine disease and my pregnancy. I got some great advice on how best to manage my pain (no more Excedrin after 22 weeks!) and some confirmation that the things I have been doing up to this point are okay. The did ask if I was aware of the risks associated with taking topirimate during pregnancy, and I said that yes, I did know, but I had chosen to weigh the risks of remaining on the lowest possible dosage with the benefits of being best able to manage my pain. Without the meds, my migraines and hemiplegic attacks get out of control. Having to deal with all of that while trying to take care of myself in the way I need to to maintain a healthy pregnancy would not have worked, period. It was nice to have some professionals who are skilled at dealing with these types of situations offer advice, and support of the things I was already doing.
I’m also getting a referral back to my old neurologist, as my current one isn’t practising at the moment, and I’m going in to the perinatal clinic in a few weeks to have another ultrasound. At first, I was excited about getting to see the Little Man again, but the more I thought about it, the more freaked out I became. The perinatal clinic is where you go when they want to check for abnormalities. Now, when I had the last ultrasound at 19 weeks, things looked fine to me. He had all his organs, his face looked good (no cleft lip), his fingers and toes looked like they were all there… I mean, the radiologist didn’t come in to talk to us, and they didn’t need to get any additional pictures of anything (I’m not counting the ones the second tech took, because I’m assuming she just wanted to get a better look than what the student had done.)
This is what happens when I start getting all up in my own head. I panic. Was there something that the doctors weren’t telling me? Did I miss something? What if they find something seriously wrong with him, and it’s a defect that happened because I did something wrong? I went in to total panic mode, and had several large bouts of crying followed by a day of retail therapy with my mum on Saturday. I was, quite literally, freaking out. There was one night where he didn’t kick as much as he usually does, and he barely kicked in the morning at all. I think that would have been Friday night and Saturday morning. I was probably being hyper aware because of all my other fear, but it really worried me. I lay as still as possible to try and get him to wake up. I drank a cold glass fo milk, but instead of frantically scooting away, he just lazily rolled over. I was a mess.
Shawn did an amazing job at reassuring me, even though the panicky psycho in my head wouldn’t let it help. He said he was probably moving less because he tired himself out with all the kicking and wiggling he’d been doing the day before. He’s probably right. And while I will love the Little Man not matter what (hell, I already do), I have this hope that he’s perfect. I want the best for him, and that includes not having to go through any of the crap that I’ve had to deal with in having a chronic illness. Shawn pointed out that he was already perfect, because he’s ours. He couldn’t be more right about that.
My mum pointed out that I probably have a lot of fear because I know more than I should about what can go wrong because of where she works. It’s true, but if anything, having her and her wealth of knowledge around has been a huge comfort. She told me that if they were really concerned about anything, they wouldn’t be waiting just over two weeks to get me in to have another look at the Little Man. That’s just what they do. They look to make sure that everything is fine and that there isn’t anything else that they can do to make sure things go as smoothly as possible.
I felt much better on Sunday. It’s like the Little Man knew I was freaking out and needed to do something to make me feel better. He was up for most of the night kicking and squirming around. In fact, he kicked me so hard at one point that it actually jolted me awake. Between that and the terrible round ligament pain I was having (Yay! He’s growing!), it was an awful night for sleep. On the plus side, I know know he’s doing just fine in there, and he was just having a lazy day. His kicks and barrel rolls are back to their normal frequency, and he’s even started perking up when he hears Shawn ranting about something. It’s very cute. He loves the sounds of his dad’s voice, but still doesn’t like to kick for him. His hands are just too warm and comforting.
On another pregnancy note, I have made it to the halfway point. I’m just past the 20 week mark. How the hell did that happen so fast? During my really sick days, in my first trimester, I thought I was going to die. I said to Shawn, quite frequently, that this kid was killing me. It sure felt that way. I still get nauseated and puke every once in a while, but it’s not five times a day anymore. The headaches are little more frequent, but I’ve got some strategies for dealing with them that seem to be working. I still have a terrible time sleeping, for the most part, but there have been a few nights where the exhaustion has taken over and I’ve passed right out. Oh, and for those that are keeping track, I’ve finally start gaining baby weight! All those dick weasels who are so concerned that I’m not gaining can suck it (not that I’ll tell them. My weight is an off limits topic, as it should be.)
I have all of the Little Man’s clothes sorted by size, and his books are neatly stacked. The dresser we need to get rid of is empty, and there is plenty of space in the storage room for all the stuff that needs to be relocated. It’s not going as quickly as I’d like it too, but it’s going, and that’s the important thing. Progress doesn’t have to be fast, it just has to be. We have five months left to get everything ready for when he gets here. and I think that’s plenty of time. He’s growing, moving, and starting to stretch my belly button out so it looks all funky. The top of my uterus is about an inch above my belly button at the moment, and that’s some nice progress if you ask me. It’s good. Everything is good.
Honestly, this really isn’t how I thought this year would go. I didn’t think we would have such success on the baby front. I thought we would get married, have our vacation, and then spend the months leading up to my 30th birthday having a bunch of great, but unsuccessful, sex. Then, when my birthday rolled around in January, I would have a minor breakdown about not being in my twenties anymore and would have a period where I didn’t want a baby, ever. Then, when Shawn’s birthday rolled around in April, I would relent and want a baby again because I didn’t feel quite so old now that we were both 30. Yes, I am aware of how pathetic that is, but that’s how it would have gone down.
Instead, our wedding was perfect and our homecoming was even better. I got pregnant almost right away and, while it’s been bumpy, it’s also been perfect. I no longer care about which birthday it is because I have everything I need and everything I want. My husband is the most amazing man in the world. We’re having a baby boy. We live in a beautiful home with two adorable little assholes that I wouldn’t give up for anything. We have great families. We never want for food (or things to watch on Netflix). Turning 30 doesn’t even matter. I wouldn’t change anything right now.
I think it’s time to stop writing for the moment and go have a snack. The Little Man is kicking, and I have to find a way to choke down my All Bran Buds without the use of yogurt (because it’s also disgusting). I hope everything is going well for everyone out in the blogosphere. Adieu.