On Another Thing I Found Ridiculous

I got sent another hilarious article today. This time, it was something on Scary Mommy (a site I tend to avoid), and it is called “Mothering Boys”. I found most of it ludicrous. Give it a read, and you may realize why.

The first part, about what the author was expecting when she wanted to have two girls, made me crack up. Since when are all girls demure? I certainly never was. I wasn’t quiet when I played, and while I had a large variety of white tights, most of them had grass or dirt stains on them. I was outgoing, outspoken and loved playing outside.

I also really enjoyed the comparison of girl to boy toys. Anyone who has been reading this blog knows that I am completely against gender stereotyping, in any form. In our house, between my brother and me, I had the larger Lego collection, by far. If you were stepping on a Lego, it was probably mine (or you were mistaking it for one of my plastic army men; those also hurt like a bitch when you step on them). Sure, I had Barbies. I also read Nancy Drew Books, but I switched to Stephen King before Junior High started.

Now, the fact that this woman states she is a single mother leads me to believe (and I may be wrong) that she was married to a man at some point. Unless a guy has had very good training in toilet etiquette for most of his life, he is going to leave the seat up. And, if you didn’t have to raise the lid yourself, you always look before you sit. That’s just common sense. I’m lucky enough not to have this problem anymore. My husband puts the seat down because a) he’s not a dick and b) if he doesn’t, the cats will drink the water. No one wants to see that.

I also never took a huge amount of clothes to summer camp. What was the point? It was all going to get dirty and disgusting at some point, anyway. You’re at camp, not a fashion show or beauty pageant. Going to camp, be it sleep away or day camp, is about being outside, having fun, and getting filthy. A large amount of clothes are not needed for this purpose.

The only reason I never wandered around naked in my house more often growing up is because I had a younger brother and a dad around. I’m sure they wouldn’t have appreciated it if I did what I do so often now: sit on the couch or in my computer chair with no pants on and just a flimsy t shirt covering the boobs and play video games (Wii or otherwise). Actually, I rarely put pants on if I don’t need to. I will put clean clothes on every day, I just stop before I get to the “pants” part.

Oh, and Under Armour is not the same as Spanx. At all. I don’t know if this chick never played sports or just had very little contact with actual male genitalia, but most sports type under garments come with a spot for a cup, even the ones for girls. Getting hit there hurts like a bitch. And who in their right mind would think that someone was asking about the length of her son’s junk? The way she wrote about it was hilarious, but I couldn’t help shaking my head and saying, “Really? You’re kidding, right?”

Who knows. Maybe there is some magical world where all little girls want to be pretty princesses in pink, and sit quietly in their rooms drinking imaginary tea with their dolls. That sounds pretty boring to me. I did that stuff once in a while, but I was never quiet about it unless my mum was on nights and needed to be asleep. Otherwise, it was loud and filled with boisterous imagination almost all the time.

I should probably stop reading all the articles, blog posts and “advice” that people, sanctimommies or not, send me. I never respond to it, I don’t acknowledge it, but it keeps coming. For a group of people who don’t know me well, they sure know what we need for this pregnancy and the subsequent parenting that will follow. I must give off the vibe that I’m going to suck at everything. And here I thought it was just the opposite.

On a much lighter note, the ultrasound is tomorrow! We went to a movie (Riddick) and out for dinner at a new pizza place for some distraction, but the Tiny Human insisted on kicking the whole time. It likes violent movies and TV shows just as much as being read the battle scenes in books. I can’t wait to see what’s been going on in there, and you can be assured I will give a full report tomorrow, with pictures. Yay!


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