Heartbeats and Panicky Psychos

The panicky psycho in my head got tamped down today, at least until the ultrasound next week. Our trip to the OB was a success. The Tiny Human has a great heartbeat, my blood pressure is good, and there are no signs of pre-eclampsia in my urine. Go us!

It still astonishes me every time I hear the heartbeat. I know there’s a baby in there. I feel it moving all the time, but hearing it (and seeing it on the ultrasound machine) makes it seem so much more real. I get this, “Holy shit, we’re having a baby!” moment, all over again, and I’m not sure whether I’m feeling ecstatic or terrified. It’s probably a combination of both. I also can’t believe we’re already half way in to week 18. Where has all the time gone? I knew this was going to happen, and I’m glad things are going so well, but it feels like I need more time to get ready.

I’m happy that my mum was there to hear the heartbeat today. I think it’s something she really enjoyed, and hearing her say, from being there first hand, that things sounded great, was a relief. I know I should just be relieved when the OB tells me things are good, but my mum’s opinion has always been really important to me. I liked having her there.

The rational side of my brain (the one that’s always fighting with the panicky psycho) can probably win out until next Wednesday. I’m so hoping that we’ll be able to get a reading on the Tiny Human’s sex. As much as I wish things were different, baby clothes tend to be really gender specific, and I want to buy some stuff. We went to the new Marshall’s today, and there was nothing that would have been suitable for both a boy and a girl. It was really disappointing.

I did, however, manage to pick up a really cute outfit for my niece. She should be arriving by the end of the month, but I have no idea when we’re going to be able to make it out to BC to see her and the rest of Shawn’s family. I did want to get them a gift, and the jeggings, t-shirt and vest combo that I picked up are adorable. I decided to get an outfit in a bigger size. Caelin, my sister-in-law, probably has all the tiny clothes she needs already, so I thought something for down the road would be more practical. I could be completely wrong, but I like the outfit.

I also snagged a two-piece Peter Rabbit outfit in yellow that I will be keeping for myself if we find out the Tiny Human is a girl. If it’s not, that will also be going to my niece, which is fine by me. I just love Peter Rabbit, and the outfit is both soft, pretty and cute. I did have a conversation with the Tiny Human on the way out of the store about what a cute outfit it is, and how adorable they would look in it if they happened to be a girl. My mum then went on to tell it that it didn’t matter what it was, I was just being silly because of a yellow shirt with puffed sleeves. My mum was right.

My mum is also getting just as goofy with baby stuff as I am. This is her first grandchild, and she bought it a set of toys today that work as rattles, sensory toys and teethers. I was going to buy them, but she demanded I let her do it, because she saw them first. I can’t really say no when the enthusiastic grandma wants to buy toys. It’s just not in my nature.

The Marshall’s itself was less than impressive. The shoe department was good, but the rest read like a more up-scale Winner’s. Neither my mum or I have the patience to sift through racks of crap on the off-chance we might find something awesome. Mum did find a great sweater and some new running  shoes, and the baby stuff was a sweet deal, but it’s not somewhere I would go out of my way to shop at. I’m perfectly capable of finding amazing deals at regular stores. There were two pairs of shoes I could have come home with, but the tartan pair rubbed the back of one of my heels, and the other was a pair of Jimmy Choo flats that were still priced at $299.00. They were amazing, and so comfortable, but I just don’t have the cash to spend on shoes like that at the moment. Sad face.

There were a couple of moments this evening when the baby was kicking hard enough for Shawn to feel it, but he was no where near me at the time, and he doesn’t really have the patience to sit with his hand on my belly on the off chance it will happen again. It did happen again, but I think he needs a little more than that. I wished he would have given it a try, but a few more weeks should give him more consistent kicking results. I think I just really want him to be able to feel what’s happening with the Tiny Human and it’s growth. He’ll probably get more jacked up about it again after the ultrasound next week, especially if we can determine the sex. I know he’s excited. I just want him to show it.

That’s really all I have for today. They’re expanding the pipe and water lines in the neighborhood tomorrow, so we’re going to have no water service from 830am-430pm. This is a huge inconvenience, especially since I’m still peeing so often. We have stock piled drinking water and filled the tub with water in case we need any extra, but it still sucks. I know, it’s totally a first world problem, but we live in the first world, so I’m okay with it. Here’s hoping it doesn’t take as long as they think it will.


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