Changes

I’ve been away from the blog for a few days. With a headache. A HEADACHE! Not a migraine. If it was a migraine, I would know how to deal with it. I’ve been dealing with migraine attacks for over half my life, and while they suck, and I wish I wouldn’t get them ever again, I can manage them. These “headaches” are an entirely different story.

A migraine affects one side of my head. I can treat it with known medications and heat. Lying still in a dimly lit room usually calms the pain. With these headaches, though, none of those things have been working. My whole head hurts. I took a T3 and it didn’t help. The heat pack didn’t help. The dark and quiet and stillness didn’t help. I was at a total loss.

It’s very strange to have head pain that I can’t deal with. What I’ve been feeling is just so different fro what I’m used to that it’s been throwing me completely off balance. I don’t have the energy to do anything, or sit up, or walk around. God forbid I have to throw up… it makes the my head feel like it’s going to explode! I’m chalking this change up to the pregnancy hormones. My regular migraine attack have been pretty mellow considering what some people with my condition go through, so I shouldn’t really complain. But I am. I am complaining. I would much rather stick to something that I know and understand than something I’ve never had to deal with before.

That sounds lame, I know, but with all the other changes happening, one little thread of consistency would be nice. I’ve started getting carpal tunnel in my right hand. It sucks holding my iPad or Kobo, and typing for long periods of time is probably not a good idea (although I’m doing it anyway). I need to be really careful about how I sleep so I don’t put pressure on that hand, and I’m trying really hard to remember to stretch it every day.

I think we’re having another growth spurt, too. My uterine ligaments have been flaring up, and that is not a nice kind of pain. I’m really glad that the baby is growing and developing like it should, and the ligaments pain is a sign that everything is on the right track. That doesn’t mean that I have to like it. I was watching TV last night and trying really hard to ignore the sharp pains pulling up the sides of my uterus. If I didn’t know what it was, it would freak me out, just like the first time I felt it. Now, it’s just pain, and a pain in the ass.

I’ve also decided that I’m growing a gymnast, or maybe an acrobat or martial artist. At just over 15 weeks old, the Tiny Human has discovered that it’s limbs move, and it is apparently fascinated by this fact. All last night, it was stretching and pushing out as far as it could reach. This was not the tiny butterfly flutters I was first feeling. This was a little being moving as much as it could, for as long as it could keep it up. It was an incredible feeling, and I kept giggling to myself about it. It did, however, keep me up until 700 am. That wasn’t so stellar, as the guys who are installing our new fence started at 1030. Again, I’m so glad that I have an active, spunky little person in there, but I really like to sleep when I’m able. It’s a good thing I have the coping skills of a well practiced insomniac.

When I’m not dealing with a lack of sleep or the new, and annoying, head pain, I actually have more energy than I did. This is a miracle. After months of feeling dead all the time, it’s nice to be able to go out by myself and not worry about crashing so hard halfway through that I won’t be able to get home. I’m certainly not back to my usual self, but it’s a step in the right direction.

All my doctors warned my that because of my chronic illness background, I was likely to be hyper sensitive to the changes of pregnancy, so none of this is really a surprise. I can always hope things will go more smoothly than expected, but I never think it will. None of that matters, anyway. We’re having a baby, and I couldn’t be more stoked about it (crappy stuff or no).

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