On Nothing in Particular

Today was one of those days that was awesome, and yet not. The baby didn’t like what we had for dinner last night (chicken fingers dipped in Diana sauce), and as soon as I had finished with yesterday’s posts, I started throwing up. It kept going until the morning, and continued through my OB appointment, a brief trip to the mall, and most of the afternoon.

It was the worst it had been in a while, and it didn’t calm down until I got a shot of maxoran in the hip. I was also fighting a migraine, which was probably brought on by the puking, the lack of sleep and the subsequent dehydration. I finally managed to keep some pain pills down and take a bit of pizza, and I’m really hoping tomorrow will be better.

The awesome part of the day came at the doctor. My obstetrician is happy with how I’m doing (aside from the constant sickness part) and all my blood tests and urine cultures came back clean and balanced. Shawn got to hear the baby’s heartbeat for the first time, and it’s still going strong at  146 BPM. It’s a huge reassurance every time I hear it, and I can’t wait until my next ultrasound at 18-20 weeks. I’m so excited to see how the baby’s grown. We both are.

Every time I get super sick, like I was last night and most of today, I’m so thankful that I have such a supportive and loving husband. I couldn’t imagine going through this alone, and he has been so wonderful through it all. I actually feel really bad for him. Shawn hates when I’m feeling unwell. He feels powerless, because there isn’t a lot that he can do to make me physically feel better. No matter how many times I tell him otherwise, the fact that he’ll get me water and snacks, put my magic bag in the microwave when I feel too woozy to get up, and just sit with my when I don’t want to be alone (even though he would probably rather be gaming), makes a world of difference.

I also feel badly because I don’t think this is how he expected our first few months of being married to go down. I know it’s not what I would have liked in an ideal world. While I had hoped it would happen, I didn’t really expect to get pregnant so soon, and no matter when it happened, I wasn’t expecting to be so sick. I never wanted him to spend the first while of our married life taking care of me because I can’t take care of either of us. The fact that he’s so willing to do it reinforces to me, every day, what a wonderful man I married.

I hope, for both our sakes (and for the sake of my mum, who gives me injections and helps with my medications, no matter what kind of day she’s had) that I start feeling better soon. Like I’ve said before, I don’t expect that to happen, but if it does, it will be a welcome surprise. We need some time where we can make plans without the worry that I’m not going to feel up to doing what we wanted. And God knows, I need to clean my house. It’s getting to the point where the cats don’t even want to lay on the carpet.

I know it hasn’t been easy, but my marriage is everything that a good marriage should be, and for that I’m grateful. I have no worries about spending the rest of my life with this man, or about raising a family with him. It’s one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.


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